Week 2 Impressio... wait, I actually came back?

I'm either bored or in a good kind of rut.  Either way, onto the impressions.

• The Big Ten is bad—I wince at sportswriters and bloggers continuing to flog the Big Ten vs. SEC trope.  It's lazy, and it's stupid.  That said, the Big Ten is really bad this year.  It wasn't Michigan's close game with Air Force, and it wasn't even Nebraska's loss to a seemingly vastly improved UCLA.  It was Iowa and Wisconsin.  After shaky, shaky wins over UNI and NIU last week, respectively, each team absolutely bottomed out against losing teams from 2011.  Iowa with their injuries and God hating them is understandable.  But Wisconsin, the 11th-ranked rushing offense from last year, getting 35 yards rushing against the 101st-ranked rushing defense from last year?  Unfathomable.  Apparently, Bielema's bachelorhood was the key to Wisconsin's continued success.  Gets hitched in the off-season... team collapses.  I bet his wife made him burn all his Affliction shirts.
• I think USC and Oregon are taking advantage of their position in the polls to "just win" games in the non-conference slate, NFL-style.  There's no reason for them to win 62-3 to garner attention.  They're already at the top of the polls... don't lose, and they'll stay there.
• Congratulations, Arkansas, you've wrested the title of "Worst Hiring Practices" away from Pittsburgh.  Did anyone expect anything else of John L. Smith?  If Arkansas fails to tab Tommy Tuberville as its new coach by December, I expect their AD will be looking for work in Conference USA.
• Thumbs down to the media's righteous indignation over Savannah State's paycheck games.  This is the reality of the sport you cover.  The table scraps of the I-A elite are enough to feed a family of four (or a I-AA program) for a year.  None of us enjoys the uncompetitive scheduling, but don't blame the I-AA teams or their administrations for taking badly needed cash.  Blame the I-A presidents who decided to move to a 12-game season, and who seem content with having about 40 more teams in I-A than really ought to be there.
• UCLA-Nebraska and Arizona-Oklahoma State were the hidden gems of the weekend.  Both were incredibly fun to watch, and it was nice seeing two recent doormats of the Pac-12 enjoy the thirst-quenching taste of victory.
• Kansas State did very bad things to Miami.  I'm still not sure if this is more indicative of how good KSU is or how bad Miami is.  As always, it's probably a little of both.

"Things I Was Right About" this past weekend:

•  Utah State dumping Utah.  Watched a few minutes of each team's debut last week.  USU looked sharp, Utah looked dull.  Not remotely shocked about the outcome.
• Air Force keeping it really close with Michigan.  The option is tough to defend, and the academies don't have a lot of quit in them.
• UCLA over Nebraska.  Nebraska actually acquitted themselves nicely in that game, and Martinez, when he's not running for his life, is actually improving.  But Nebraska should not have been ranked.
• Illinois ending up in a hole in the desert.  They discovered a run game, but their offensive line has no push whatsoever.  They are looking down the barrel of a 4- or 5-win season at best, and that's in a weak Big Ten.

And now, "Things I Was Totally Wrong About":

•  Auburn.  Chizik's got a dumpster fire and no extinguisher.  Couldn't happen to a better Easter Island statue.
• Notre Dame.  Maybe Navy's really bad.
• Wisconsin.  See above.
• North Carolina.  What... the... eff?  Wake Forest struggled to beat Liberty last week.
• Texas Tech.  I guess Tubs is auditioning for the Arkansas job.  John L. Smith clearly isn't.
• Arizona.  They got it together.  They will not play like that every week, but when RichRod's system works, it's a thing of beauty.
• Stanford and Duke.  I thought these programs were on different trajectories.  They're not.