Week 1 Sucks

I was going to label this entry "The ACC Sucks," but then I realized that's what the last entry was labeled. I didn't want people to get confused.

Let's face it: the first week of college football after a nine-month layoff is both relieving but utterly unsatisfying, not unlike scoring a quickie in a Jack in the Box bathroom after a two-year sex drought. Or something. This week's slate of games left very few compelling match-ups, and even some of the compelling match-ups didn't pan out. Alabama embarrassed Clemson about eight weeks sooner than Clemson usually begins embarrassing itself, and an Arena Football League game broke out in the middle of the Mizzou-Illinois game.

Week 1 isn't quite over, but I'm confident, based on the average shittiness of the first three days of games, that the remaining three games will suck equally. Maybe Rick Neuheisel will actually bust out a blackjack table during the UCLA-Tennessee game, but would anyone really be shocked by that?

Rankings out tomorrow. Prepare to be shocked. Let's just say a BCS-buster bellied up to the bar that no one was expecting.