First up: the ACC. Here's all you need to know about the ACC. Florida State dominated this conference pretty much every year of its existence. It managed to go to three BCS Championship games, winning one against a team that is now a conference opponent. Then Miami, Virginia Tech, and Boston College joined the conference, and Florida State suddenly started to suck really bad. OR... maybe Florida State was always kind of overrated, and the slightest amount of competition managed to expose one of the most fearsome programs (and, by proxy, its conference) of the '90s as a fraud.
Boston College—remember when Matt Ryan launched on the sidelines during that comeback win over Virginia Tech last year? That's what BC diehards will be doing this season when the Eagles struggle to eke out a 6–6 record and Congressional Bowl bid. Good thing they scheduled Rhode Island. What the hell is Rhode Island? The Clamshuckers?
Clemson—28 years and counting since the last championship for the Tigers. And it'll be 29 this time next year. Tommy Bowden has a greater chance at winning a liver spot contest with his dad than getting within sniffing distance of a quality bowl game, let alone the championship. Record: 8–4
Duke—Still good at hoops and not raping strippers. Record: 4–8
Florida State—At this point, can Florida State just start recruiting directly from the Florida state prison system? Hey, you're going to get schooled by Tim Tebow either way. Record: 7–5
Georgia Tech—Good luck with the triple option. Record: 6–6
Maryland—Fridge keeps the team respectable by winning seven games and eating two players. Record: 7–5
Miami—Let's see who draws the most fans to Pro Player Stadium this year... the Hurricanes, the Dolphins, the Marlins, or Miami FC. Record: 7–5
North Carolina—When your mascot's son kills his father to usurp his throne, you KNOW that Butch Davis is shaping things up around Chapel Hill. Record: 6–6
North Carolina State—Hey, NC State... you've got five DI-A schools in the state. Someone has to be the worst. Record: 3–9
Virginia—You can't spell "vulva" without UVA. Record: 6–6
Virginia Tech—When your most famous alum is sitting in prison for organizing a dog-fighting ring... let's just say recruiting gets a little tougher. I mean, Florida State's already working the prison angle. Record: 8–4
Wake Forest—I like Wake. Playing Baylor in Waco in August takes some balls. More balls than say, oh, putting two DI-AA schools on your schedule and pretending to be a major-conference team. But I doubt there are any teams in the ACC pulling that kind of crap. Certainly not ones coached by the likes of Bobby or Tommy Bowden. Record: 7–5
Conference champion: Virginia Tech.
1 comment:
Watching a mid-to-late-season ACC conference game like N.C. State vs. Georgia Tech or Maryland vs. Virginia is a lot like watching elderly persons slowly inspect, prepare, and consume hamburgers at a cookout. Each stage of the event is focused on and praised beyond merit, but in the end the result is always the same: it was merely OK.
I still hold out hope for the conference though after the 'Heels eviscerated the 'Canes mere weeks after the 'Canes did the same to my team on national TV. Neither of those teams were bowl-eligible at season's end, and my team was. There may be an ounce or two of parity left outside of Blacksburg and Tallahassee as long as the right players are suspended on the right weeks.
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