So it turns out
Dennis Dixon knew his knee was as messed up as Nick Bollea's Supra when he took the field against Arizona on Thursday night.
While scrambling out of the pocket during a first-quarter drive,
Heisman front-runner Dixon crumpled to the ground, having suffered a torn ACL. That sound you heard as Dixon hit the ground was Oregon's title-game chances reaching to change the light bulb at the top of the stairs, burning its hand, losing its balance, falling off the ladder, hitting its head on the banister, falling down eight stairs, accidentally kicking itself in the nutsack while cartwheeling down the remaining four stairs, then landing on the sharp edge of a lead-tainted toy from China.
Not to worry, Ducks fans. I hear El Paso is beautiful in late December. Just imagine all the fun you're going to have sitting out in the West Texas sun, watching Brady Leaf throw pick after pick, fumbling while scrambling out of the pocket, and holding onto the ball
just long enough to take yet another sack. Screw those LSU and
Kansas Mizzou Oklahoma fans, anyway. They probably won't even be able to enjoy the game because they'll be so hungover from tossing down Hurricanes at Pat O'Brien's. Try enjoying a four-hour defense-fest after staying up until 4 a.m. watching depraved acts of chest-baring and girl-on-girl action in the French Quarter. Tell me that that's more fun than having a nice meal at the Mesa Street Bar & Grill following a soul-crushing, season-ending bowl loss by the Ducks. Yeah... that's what I thought.
Oh, and big ups to Erin Andrews for busting out the "pirate wench" outfit for Thursday night's game. Sorry... I meant Arrrrrrr-in Andrews.
1 comment:
Your strikethrough of all top 4 teams other than OU proved to be eerily prophetic in a reverse psychology kind of way. Can you post an SEC Championship Game Sucks preview in which Georgia/Tennessee is crossed out?
Also, your poll sucks. I wanted to vote for the ACC but had to settle for the Independents.
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